What the Heck am I Doing?

Well, I can just tell you that the week has barely started and yet I am almost speechless with joy to have my shows back.  Today I watched the previously DVR-ed “The Biggest Loser” and I was moved to tears.  There were these military helicopters, and my favorite reality show (besides “16 and Pregnant” for the obvious train wreck possibilities) and old people.  Patriotism, excitement, and old people just create a perfect storm in my eyeballs I guess.  I still don’t entirely understand why the Marines were involved, probably to make me cry. 

So, the real bit of news is annoyingly salient.  Remember that part in the chapter I gave you when Lydia laments not seeing some of her friends and co-workers for long periods of time after finishing a job?  (You totally read it right?  You didn’t?  Well, go read it now.  Don’t worry, I will wait, it is short anyway.)

So, now that we are all back together again and recalling that little line, well, guess who decided to join the crew of the show that has become my little world since July?  That’s right, that guy who drove me to make amusing ecards about cats and LBJ.  The great thing about working freelance in the film and television industry is that when you finish a job you can often escape those you want to get away from.  The bad thing is almost anyone can turn back up in your life at ANY TIME. 

I bring this up because of course I immediately sought out my besties for emotional support, and the weird thing was, more than one of them asked me if I thought he joined the crew to work near me.  I call this weird because as a Romance writer that should have been my first thought.  Perhaps it is not surprising that my mind did not come up with that awesome plot device sooner because I am in the middle of it and not observing from the outside. The mundane nature of life and knowing his perspective relatively well obscured anything beyond the surface of the situation for me.  But as a writer IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY FIRST THOUGHT!  AAARRGGHH!  Am I going to be terrible at this and fail horribly?  Probably not, I am sure this is the emotional upheaval kicking up dust in my head.  BTW, I am fairly certain that he did not board the Clipper Majestic (bonus points for those of you who pick up the reference and figure out what TV show I am working on.  I hope I didn’t mention it in an earlier post…) just to hang out with me.  But if my life were an awesome Romance novel he would totally have squirreled his way on to be near me because I am awesome and have unforgettable kind of green, kind of brown, squinty eyes and cute freckles or something.   Oh, oh, even better, he didn’t want to work near me and didn’t think I would be there, but there I am, his old flame, and the flame hasn’t gone out.  I flit back and forth in front of him, and, oh wait, am I flirting?  Maybe I am flirting, and he is stricken.   I draw him, almost magnetically, with my kind of green, kind of brown, squinty eyes and cute freckles or something. 

Hey, thanks for letting me freak out about writing.  I am going to go work on chapter six now!